A Whirled Yarn

It's Final Exam time!

Please answer all questions to the best of your ability. 

1. What is the correct interpretation of this photo:

A. Never allow people half your height to photo document major events in your life.

B. Able to knock over water spigots with her bare hands,... it's a bird, it's a plane, it's Super Wingnut Mom!

C. Panicked woman running aimlessly with a stick...must be sheep moving day!

(The answer I was looking for was C.  However, as many of the more vocal students (and you know who you are!) have quickly pointed out, both A and B are also fair and true assumptions based on my previous posts.  So I will either credit you all for this question, or throw it out altogether...on my whim at grading time...so there...)

2.  This woman is...

A.  Discussing the planned route to the summer pasture, and working out where the flock may pause to sample weeds, clover and rose bushes along the way, with the democratically elected sheep leader.

B.  Way invading poor Barley's personal space.

C. Going to get a million chigger bites where the sun don't shine hovering her derriere over the hay pack that way.

(Okay, I was obviously going for A, but C was also proved later to be true as well.  Answer B is obviously a matter of personal opinion...and in an exam, your's does not count!)

3.  Should anyone truly believe this will lead anyone anywhere?

Oh come on, this answer is obvious...just look at the wander lust gleam in that eye...

4.  Should you trust a 10 year old boy, given a camera and the job to document the "Kansas Family Attempts to Move Sheep to Pasture" story, to actually be paying attention when his father must make a wild leap like he was diving for home base to tackle a runaway sheep, and subsequently roll arse over teacups down a hill hugging said sheep to his chest?

Please view the following photograph, taken by the 10 year old in question, while the excitement was happening...in case you need a hint...

 

Honestly, if you were to answer "yes", please stop reading this blog and ...just go away... quietly...

Okay, time is up.  Put your pencils down and pass all your papers to your right,...no, to your left...oh just hand them to the goat on your way out...he'll have them for lunch.

Happy end of the school year to you all!  Now go graze...

Black sheep, black sheep, what #@$% happened to you?

Remember how I impressed you last week with a hideous naked sheep picture...did you really think I would allow shearing day to come and go with out a blow by account of the whole thing?  Sorry, no such luck for you!

My absolutely faithful and loyal readers (which may only be my husband...) may recall how last year we here at Settlers Farm were determined to shear the little buggers ourselves.  After all, who would want to pay a hefty $5 (!?!) a head when you have two able-bodied adults to sling sheep and numerous children capable of running about like border collies?  Armed with my thrifty ebay sheep shearers, we cornered the first sheep (I think it was poor Violet).  I squeezed a rope halter (upside down, the poor thing) over her face as the Absent-minded Prof readied the shearers ...which look like dog clippers on steroids... and are completely capable of slicing off an ear (both your's and the sheep's with one good blow). 

They didn't work.

Not to be thwarted...we did what any sensible Insteader (translation: homesteader wannabe) would do.

We got out the sewing scissors...

This is about three hours per sheep later.  The coats are to hide their shame...

This year we found Danny...

And we are NEVER, ever, letting him go...

This poor man spends all his working hours bent in half.  And he wields those massive shearers with the finesse of a gun-slinger from an old western.  Each sheep took him 15 minutes...maybe.

And the results look like this...

I love him.

The Absent-minded Prof took this picture to prove I don't need a skirting table.

I think it proves exactly the opposite.  Thankfully I thought ahead and wore a long shirt to prevent skirter's butt.

This is what happens when you look like a woolly pig...but act like a woolly grasshopper...

Sad, but just imagine what he would look like if I had to attack him with the fiskars.

Here they are, naked and so proud of their contribution to my fiber insanity...

Okay, maybe they are just begging for cookies. 

You know how the goats spend their days hogging the hay and slamming into the poor sheep with those stupid horns?

Karma baby, karma...

Hard drives and Shearing

Arghhhhh!  What do you get when you combine a sensitive bit of technology with an extremely independent, and some would say mischievous toddler?  Give up?  How about a horrid hard drive crash.  Apparently PC's do not approve of being turned off and on by a 2 1/2 year old with the patience of a gnat.  It's amazing how much I missed the stupid thing when it was gone!  Web site and blog languishing, email lists going on with our me...Of course now we are all fighting over who is on next.  The cruel Easter Bunny brought the older DS a long awaited computer game that he couldn't play for 2 weeks.  Oh, the humanity!

And now, instead of spinning, I've been turning these shaggy woolly creatures,...

Into these pathetic ovines...

Good thing I've never had ambitions to be a beautician!

Here is Lucy enjoying the incredible feel of fresh shorn, fine wool!

Oh joy!!!