Me: Honey, I just got a pair of sheep shoes!
Absent-minded Prof: I hope you got a pair of cheap shoes. We're not made of money you know!
Me: No Honey, I got SHEEP shoes, SHEEP shoes. Look!
AMP: Those are some of the most ridiculous shoes I've ever seen! How much did you pay for those anyways?
Me: Oh,...um,...like I said, they were cheap shoes, CHEAP shoes...Is that the fire dectector? Dinner must be done... gotta go!
The moths in Kansas are H-U-G-E!
Exciting and fun new things have been showing up around here everyday.
How much fun is a brand new S10...
And this sweet little Victoria...she even has her own little suitcase she folds up into. Just the thing for those spinning sleep-overs (you laugh...but how much fun would that be!) ...
And this is a brand new Wheel called the Mach I. It treadles a whole new way and is incredibly smooth...like buttah.
And these...Ack! They take me by surprise every time...
Our newest addition to our farm...Guinea fowl. Besides being hideous ugly,... (don't you just love the horn on the top of the head, sort of Teenage Mutant Ninja Chickens...heavy on the mutant)...and completely wild, they make a noise like finger nails on a blackboard (except about 500 times louder). Why bring such creatures to our little Instead homestead of happiness?
Because this is their favorite meal...
And besides being even uglier and less cuddly than a Guinea...they suck blood.
So, chow down Guinea fowl. Every day this summer, that I don't have to pull a tick off the tender parts of a 10 year-old boy, I will be very grateful for your unattractive existence...
1. You have been trapped in the house with three crazed children on "Spring Break" for a week and the weather is cold enough to forget your groceries in the car for the whole day...and nothing thawed.
2. The couch, the floor, my sweater and an entire toddler could be mistaken for a golden retriever. If this keeps up much longer, that dog will be nakid.
3. Your sheep have turned pink...
Don't laugh...her name is Violet and she's very sensitive...and a wee bit chilly. And please don't mention that this is really not the most flattering look for her rear end.
4. But the most reliable sign of spring is...
...the gawky half grown chick in a plastic tub.
Mention the word "chick" and everyone immediately envisions a little puff ball fit for an Easter card. (Unless, I guess, your visions are fueled by testosterone.) No one ever mentions this skinny necked, long legged, prickly pin-feathered, easily panicked and completely stupid phase. Welcome to the chicken version of the teenager. Take one look at these hideous, dinosaury creatures and just try to tell me there is no good evidence for evolution. It's like a mini Jurassic Park on my porch...
Our first chicks that we bought when the kids were very small were named sweet, unimaginative things like "Runner", "Jumper", "Flyer", and "Chirper". Six years later I must introduce "Toady", "Cloud", "Autumn", "Taylor" and...prepare yourself..."Enrique".
This was "Puff", may she rest in peace.
Although I think her coffin decorations might keep her up nights...
Okay, so I admit it...I have failed at Project 365. Completely. Miserably. But I have a rather good excuse (relax, it doesn't have anything to do with coal power)...I just can't tell you quite yet (oh relax Honey, I'm not pregnant again). I just need to finalize a few things before I announce my new and ambitious plans to the world (or at least to the four people who read my blog). I know it's hard to believe I have the fortitude to commit to a spanking new project when I can't even take one measly picture a day...
But in the mean time, The Harveyville Spinsters met this weekend at Ewephoria Farm. It is the best sheep farm, like, ever. With the awesomest sheep and absolutely to die for fleeces. I mean it really, you need a fleece, you see Tina. She'll set you up fine. My sheep came from Tina. So, when I found we were going there anyways, it seemed prudent to bring along adequate sheep transportation and a halter. Because...you never know. Plus, it is almost my tenth anniversary, and it is common knowledge that the tenth is the wool one. Really,...it is...go look it up.
So I took just one sheep halter with me to guarantee that I would only come home with one sheep. Well guess what?! The second little sheepy was so small, I didn't even need a halter! I could just pick him right up!
So here they are..Daisy and Clover...
Daisy may look brown to you...but part that fleece and she is black. Black! I am so stinkin' excited! And the little guy, Clover, is a Shetland. So he looks rather like a woolly pig with funny little horns. Adorable!
All the pictures have been taken at a distance as they are still extremely shy. They spend their time trying to stay out of the rest of the flocks way.
I really don't know why they don't want to buddy right up to this...
Or this...
It won't be long before they are shamelessly trying to stuff their entire bodies through a four inch square of fence in order to get a cookie...just like everyone else.
By the size of your snowman...
...of course.
...This is what you get to deal with before that first cup of coffee in the morning...
So, I have a farmhouse in Kansas, (I meant that to sound very "Out Of Africa"...you were supposed to hear Meryl Streep as you read it...although the choice of accent was up to you.).
Our farm was originally acquired through the Homestead Act, and was in the same family for over 100 years. The next family were hog farmers. And like a lot of Kansas farmers, they preferred to live in town. So our house, (as old locals love to point out when they find out where we live)... was used to house pigs. Interestingly enough, our old house in Ithaca, NY had previously housed hippies and chickens. Past farm animal use is apparently quite a selling point for us. The hog farmer was eventually a victim of shortsightedness as he and his family did end up living in the house, immediately post pig. They tried to make up for this poor planning by covering everything and anything with plastic, faux wood paneling and green shag carpet. Perhaps the environmental overstimulation helped them to forget...
Well, there aren't any pigs left, but we still have proof that we are a small but authentic farm.
To begin with, we have one of these....
Pretty awesome, huh,...it's a grain storage thingamagingy. Please notice how the trees have been cleverly placed to hold up the structure during a strong wind.
And we also have this...
This is the hay/poop wagon (sorry kids, you never really used it anyways). You can use it to haul hay and grain to the paddocks and manure to "The Pile". Tractors, you know, are way over rated... they are expensive, they pollute the air, and you can't fix them with a pair of bike training wheels. In fact, I would bet you money there are more tractors owned by people living in subdivisions around here than on farms. We knowingly call that "All tractor and no livestock". (But, ahem, if you hear of a reliable, cheap, used tractor in my area...please let me know).
We also have the original settler's cabin...
Again, cleverly being held up by trees.
We have power line poles mysteriously standing lonely in the middle of pastures...
And of course, the absolute proof that you have a genuine farm...
Yes...I took a picture of our manure pile.
So this is why we bought a camel back sofa...
Keep in mind...this is supposed to be a barn cat.
This one is for The Country Doctor's Wife...eyeballs and all...
It's been cold. So cold that even a born and bred North-easterner like me is complaining. Below zero is cold, even for upstate New York standards. Well, maybe not for way upstate...but we prefer to call that Canada, so it doesn't really count. Kansas regularly reaches 102*F in the summer ( a little fact they hide from you before you move here). So to reach negative anything*F in the winter is just a cruel joke by Mother Nature.
Another cruel joke by Mother Nature is ...the rooster. We are lucky because we have the world's most benign rooster. Roosters can be feathered bundles of vicious, testosterone fueled terror, that sneak up behind your back and attack you with 3 inch spurs. Our rooster pretty much ignores your existence unless you are a chicken. (Not Chicken, thank goodness or we'd be in trouble). He is also impressively large and handsome. However, he is not the quickest to get the cricket, so to speak.
Chickens hate snow with a passion. They absolutely refuse to put their scaly little feet into the stuff. So when we started to get another few inches the other day, all the sensible hens returned to the barn.
Even the barn cats had snuggled in for the duration.
Where was the rooster however? Since it was horribly cold and getting dark, with the snow falling thick all around, he did what any male of any species would do...he headed for the garage. Which is where I found him...
...cleverly hiding from the snow behind stored summer toys.
Here is the embarrassing rescue, after being caught by the tail, and just before being returned in shame to the women.
Well at least he has these impressive spurs...
...When snow won't melt on a cow...
Do you enjoy unusual weather patterns? Last evening I was watching "Ask Your Legislator" from KCPT public television. The 3 old, white men legislators were blabbing about how Kansas needs the new Sunflower Electric coal fired power plant. (Go here if you've never heard of this before). A caller asked why Kansas needs this plant if over half of the power generated will be sold to other states? The OWM legislators calmly explained to us simpletons that Kansas can make money exporting energy to other states as a product, just like we export beef. They also pointed out that coal plants can be built to burn cleaner than they have in the past. Never once did they say that the particular plant in question will be built that way. In fact they carefully avoided saying that (and cleaner, by the way, in no way means clean!). I wanted to know if Kansas will be exporting the health and environmental problems and pollution to other states as well? ...Or do we get to keep that all for ourselves?
I did email...but they apparently didn't have time for my question.
Do you live in Kansas and believe they should find other options to building a new coal-fired power plant (and, as an aside, don't you think we've had enough of old, white men running, and ruining, the world?) Go here and find your legislator...
....let them know we are watching them carefully...
Project 365/52
